Try to look like a genius on Linkedin…and fail

Want to try to look like a genius on Linkedin’s Answers?

Pick a question, any question, and draft an answer drawing from the following sure-fire ways of providing what looks like useful input without answering the question.

For example, suppose the question is “Is it time for lunch yet?”

  1. Suggest that the question would be better asked in a different way. Provide a link to this tangential subject. “I think what you mean to ask is “is this the right time for ME to consume lunch?” Please see the attached link on Zone Dieting and the Hindu Clock Diet.”
  2. State that it is critical for business today, mention coordination, and include the magic phrase “it can be challenging!” “This is critical thing for business today, and I now that in my experience I’ve often run into this problem. Coordinating with others is key – it can be challenging!”
  3. Always, always mention that there is no one-size-fits-all solution. For some reason people think this is a profound statement. “I’ve dealt with this in a variety of ways: Clocks, growling stomach, pestering coworkers, etc. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer.”
  4. Ask what the goal is, then simplify and answer: “What is the goal of eating lunch? If you’re hungry, I would eat.”
  5. Ask backgrounder questions, then make some assumptions about the answers, choose an easy set of assumptions and answer that: “In what context are you asking? Does your employer have a set lunch time, or is it up to you to set your own time? If it’s up to you, then I would go when you’re hungry.”
  6. Write an elaborate response on how to search for existing answers. The key is to make it long enough that one gets the impression would have been easier for the author to do the search than to write about it: “I think this has been answered before. It might have been in Management, or maybe it was Organizational Development. Anyway, you should be able to find it by doing some searching: Go to “Q&A”, then “Advanced Search”, in the search box I would try phrases like “chronology of lunch, lunch, time, eat” etc. You might need to change the category, or use the category ALL. If you get too many responses, just use aditional search terms to narrow the search. You should be able to pull up the answer.

Fortunately, along with a fair bit of noise, Linkedin’s Q&A usually provides some great input.

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