Thaw completely

When I started this blog the purpose wasn’t to complain about everything, but sometimes you find something so stupid, you just have to say something.

Yesterday, while we were loading up on groceries, I snuck a box of Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwiches into the cart. I got them out just now to heat one up, and reading the directions (yeah, I know, first mistake) I find that they start with “Thaw sandwich completely.” What totally clueless product manager who doesn’t eat breakfast thought that was ok? Who on earth is going to remember to put one of these in the fridge the night before? Who endorsed this breakfast of inconvenience?

I do that for steaks because it’s dinner, which is clearly a superior meal to breakfast and the alternative is having the “what do you want for dinner?” argument with my wife. But breakfast? Are you kidding? If I can’t chuck it in the food-nuker and eat it a few seconds later, forget it.

I know that with an elaborate scheme of lower microwave power levels, rest periods, rotation and bundling in paper towels I can nurse the morsel from frozen stasis to hot tasty treat, but I want a meal not breakfast-obstetrics.

So Steve’s advice for the day: watch the instructions on those frozen inconvenience foods. If I’d read them in the store, I would have left the product there.

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